Zucchini Fritters

Zucchini is honestly one the most underrated veggies of all time. Incredibly versatile and needs so little work to be delicious. Add some olive oil and feta and I'll be in heaven. Blame my Greek heritage, but zucchini is just so easy to wolf down. When cooked, it becomes beautifully tender and almost sweet. And when fried, it turns beautifully brown and becomes that perfect balance of crunch on the outside and soft on the inside. All of the key flavors to make delicious fritters are here: zucchini to add that sweetness and texture, green onion to add the bite, feta to add the salt and creaminess, and oil to add richness.

While zucchini takes little work to be delicious, making fritters can be trickier than Run DMC. This is not my first fritter, but my first ones were moments short of a grease fire. Some key things to keep in mind while frying these suckers: make sure the oil is hot but not too hot. Hot oil will give you a beautiful crust and keep the fritters from sticking to the pan - especially with the feta inside. Oil that is too hot will start to smoke and make your food taste burnt which, simply put, is fucking foul. The other key tip is be confident when flipping and lay the fritters down gently. The uncooked side is still wet and if it splashes into the oil, you could seriously burn yourself - think Arnold in the first Terminator. Just live by the immortal words of Coach Bombay: "Soft hands, soft hands¹." These fritters are delicious eaten straight up and don't need to be dipped in anything. However, they benefit from a couple of easy-to-drink beers, like a Natty Boh².

Qty	Ingredient	Procedure
2	Medium zucchinis	Start by grating the zucchini. I used a food processor with a grating attachment cause I ain't got no time. Drain as much water from the zucchini as possible. If you have a potato ricer, I like putting the zucchini in there to press the excess water out. If a ricer is not available, simply get a clean dish towel and wring out as much water as possible.
6	Stalks of green onion, chopped fine	Combine the green onion, feta, zucchini, eggs, and flour. Season the mixture with salt and pepper. The mixture should be wet without being too dry.
1/4 cup	Feta, crumbled
3 tbsp	flour
	Oil to fry in	Preheat an oven to 200°F with a baking sheet in it. Heat a frying pan over medium high heat with about a quarter inch of oil. I recommend doing a small test fritter at this point and adding more flour or egg as needed. Fry until brown and flip. About 5 minutes per side. Once done, place on the baking sheet in the oven to keep warm while frying the rest of your fritters.

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1. QUACK. QUACK. QUACK. ↩
2. National Bohemian is an american lager; it is incredibly bland. However, since I am from Baltimore, I have an irrational love for it.  ↩